When it comes to relationships, are you afraid of commitment?

OMG! Maybe saying this will sound so childish or immature, but.....I'm so happy my question got featured! It's so radical (that was my friend's word)!  Anywayz, I think we should get on with answering my own damn question...

When one really loves someone with all their heart, commitment won't be hard. Because being commited to a person simply means sacrificing things like time spent with your friends or family, certain amounts of money, and being a jerk just cuz you felt like it.

I was gonna say that I'm not afraid of commitment in this post, but...I think the reason I posted this question was because, I think I am afraid of commitment. *sigh* Well, maybe not to a very large extent, but at least, I can sense that I at least, on some level, is afraid of commiting to someone I like/love.

It's not like I don't want to; I guess somehow it's just a little harder than anyone else. Also, the fact that I sometimes enjoy solitary contributes to this.

Or maybe...I just haven't met the right person in my life yet...But let's just hope I will soon. :D

I just answered this Featured Question (which I'm proud to say is my own); you can answer it too!

This Celluloid Dream

I apologize to all for my hiatus. Hah. First I had camp and I forgot to mention it before I went; when I realized I've forgotten it was already too late. I laugh at my stupidity and forgetfulness. Then, when I got back, there was so much homework I had to do, and essays to write...argh. Life and its events can be crushing sometimes.

Anywayz, I'm in the writing club in school, and our homework last week was to write at least 2 "100 Words" pieces, and, being this natural procrastinator I am, I left the work to the last days. What I didn't expect was that the teacher (who was our English teacher) called it "devastating." I think it was his way of saying it's good, cuz that's what he also said. I'm not sure how it's really like, so here they are for your scrutiny:

1: "Selective Recall"

In the dying sunlight of dusk, Cheyenne walked across the road. There was a flash of blinding headlights. Horrified screams. Car doors slamming. Quick footsteps. On the road she laid, bleeding from a head wound, helpless, lonely. No stars but one tonight...or was that just another streetlamp? Then it blinked away; her world melted into darkness.

Days later Cheyenne woke up. Pretending to be asleep, she was listening to the doctor's whispers to a guy.

"...she remembers everything but you...the chances of recalling are slim...we'll try our best..."

He seemed devastated, his grey-eyed stare fixed on Cheyenne. She ignored him.

2. Love or Vengeance?

They gazed at each other. One vicious golden amber, one wretchedly plain brown.

"W-why are you doing this to me?"

"No choice."

Then there was dead silence.

One more down. She smirked, her tawny fox ears twitching delightedly. She'd always loved this feeling of control, of revenge. Swishing her furry russet tail, she ducked away into the night, away to Empress to report elatedly.

Years later. She married a guy who knew nothing. She didn't care. All she cared was to satisfy that yearning within, to revenge for her mother's untimely death.

Yet she didn't know she was already lost.

100 Words is basically an exercise where you have to write a story with exactly 100 words. It might sound pretty easy, but, well, in reality it isn't. It took me quite a while to write those (even if they may not look that way).

In the second story, in the opening lines it said "one vicious golden amber, one wretchedly plain brown." Actually what I wanted to say was that one's eyes were golden, and the other's were brown, but since I was editing my story to cut it to 100 words, I rewrote my first sentence from "They gazed into each other's eyes" to "They gazed at each other." How idiotic was I. But I guess the mistake worked as well, cuz I describe one as "tawny" and "russet," which are yellowish colors. So it would work as the golden one. lol.

What is your favorite thing about the fall season?

Hmm . . . not sure how to answer this question. My favorite seasons are fall and winter even though it gets so cold you don't wanna get out of bed in the morning, but then again it's better than sweating like hell while the midday sun beats down on you, then smelling like an onion factory by the end of the day.

The scenery here in Hong Kong doesn't really change throughout the seasons. The trees either look super green or totally leafless and dead like trees you see in horror stories. :D So I guess I can't say I like the red leaves or autumn.

Maybe it's just the weather. Cool. Not too hot, not too cold. Neutral. Just right. Perfect weather for basically anything. The sky everyday is all grey and drab, perfect. And the occasional sprinkle from the skies are welcomed too. And it gets windy too. It's even better than aircon.

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

Currently Listening Dark Passion Play By Nightwish Amaranth see related

List

Today I've decided that I need to make a special list for myself - a list that tells the things I have in my life, and the things that I don't.

So, the things that I have or are able to do:
- non-broken family
- sufficient money (at least my parents do)
- proper education
- pretty good friends
- a complete set of limbs
- I can see (but I need help from contacts), I can hear (but I suspect my hearing is deteriorating), I can smell, and I can speak
- I find enjoyment in reading and sometimes writing
- goals
- food and beverages everyday
- companionship
- being nice when I want to (?)

And the things that I don't have or can't do but want: (And, you know what, I'm being completely honest here. Trust me.)
- a boyfriend (so shallow, right?)
- the ability to have better sport skills
- faster reflexes
- social skills
- to take things more non-personally
- staying calm; not so easily angered
- sarcasm
- perfect eyesight
- height (yes, physically)
- in general, a better face
- to stop caring so much about what others say
- being emotionally strong
- to know what to say and how to act at the right time
- leadership; not following the crowd like a sightless sheep
- good memory
- less laziness or slacking
- determination
- less greediness and less selfishness
- acceptance (sorta)
- happiness (sorta)
- daredevilness
- money
- CDs, CD player with awesome stereo, proper earphones
- a faster, better laptop
- more brainpower
- the ability to turn back time or to go back in time (yes, those two are different)
- the ability to take back actions that I've done
- knowing the truth about everything (and by saying that, I mean EVERYTHING)
- love
- play guitar and/or drums like a pro, in other words, to be as good as a person in a famous band such as Linkin Park, Green Day, etc :) but i know i'll take a long, long time to get there :D
- sing (sorta)
- bravery
- studying school work and, for now, piano shit, EVERYDAY
- a person who likes me for who I am
- go and live in LA! <3
- to meet a certain person again ( . . . where we have to engaged in a situation where we somehow have to get to know each other, like, you know, when we're grown up and we happen to work in the same company or something . . . :D)
- to know what I want
- to say "no" when I have to. and to voice my opinion more around people that I don't agree with.
- parents that allow more freedom and give me more pocket money XD
- fuckin freedom from my disgusting helper - I just really hate the way she acts. she has serious problems with her brain. if she ever has a kid, I have literally got no idea how he/she'll survive the 18 years he/she has to be stuck with her. really.
- basically to be able to do whatever I want, for the most part
- to travel to anywhere I want!
- a LOT of self-confidence
- patience
- to be able to stay un-irritable for a longer period of time
- to be less depressed/sick of myself
- to think before I act
- anything that I write about will come true
- the ability to make certain people suffer
- the ability to know if a person is telling the truth and if they are telling a lie and how often they're lying . . .

And my list can probably go even longer than that.

As you can see, the number of my "wants" are way more than my "haves." Sad. I hope that doesn't mean I'm a greedy person; I'm just not really satisfied with my life I guess.